Bush to Increase Funding for Hope-Based Initiatives

WASHINGTON—President Bush announced today that he will sign a bill providing an additional $2.8 billion for private organizations that emphasize the importance of hoping for change.

"This bill acknowledges the immeasurable role of hope in envisioning a better world for everyone," Bush said during a press conference. "Starting today, I ask all Americans to hope together as one nation that the difficult problems that grip our nation will go away someday."

The president's move will help direct federal funds to such groups as the National Hope Foundation, which has been hoping for a cure for cancer for nearly two decades.

"There are many in our country who are without hope," Bush said. "Yet there are many respected organizations in America that are actively hoping things get better. This program will assist these organizations in obtaining government grants, which will allow them to continue the important hoping that must be done."

Among the programs likely to receive funding is Project Hope You Don't Get Sick, a non-profit organization hoping that over 45 million Americans receive the proper health care they need.

Dream Job United, another likely recipient, is a widely acclaimed program in which the ill-prepared and uneducated are trained to hope for job interviews at top companies.

Another project slated for assistance in is a Louisiana-based teen-pregnancy reduction program, in which volunteers hope teens abstain from intercourse.

Under the bill, wish-based initiatives will also be eligible for increased funding. Dozens of independent wishful-thinking foundations, such as America Wishes Things Were Better, expect to receive grants to fund distribution of pennies, wishbones, and birthday candles.

Those with wishes and hopes applauded the president's move, saying that faith alone cannot rectify the nation's social ills.

"Faith-based problem-solving is noble, but we should not discount the power of hope," said veteran hoper Howard Thorndike, who heads the Please Oh Please Institute, a Houston-based wish tank. "'Hail Mary' strategies, for example, are a part of the fabric of our nation, from the football field to the boardroom, and our government ignores such traditions at its peril."

Bush echoed Thorndike's sentiments. "As your president, I have seen firsthand what hoping can do," he said. "I have heard stories of decent people trapped under piles of rubble, and I have hoped that they would be rescued. And eventually, many were. Recently, powerful storms and destructive hurricanes ravaged some of our great cities. I hope that you will join me in wishing that we do not get hit by any more of those."

Bush added: "Laura and I hope every night that good things will happen for our great country. My fellow Americans, I call on you to do the same."

My Current Status...

Oh me oh my, a wild weekend tis has been! I reached #31,753 on the Amazon sales list! Not bad, especially with how I've been busting my hump to get my book out there. Hopefully by the end of the year the good ol' brick and mortar stores will carry it along with their internet incarnates. Then I feel sales could get real interesting, and my ass into some major controversy. Mock God and America hates you. Go figure. And no, I haven't forgotten you, the consumer, buying my book. I am grateful. I swear never to become an arrogant prick. If you ever run into me, probably in a coffee shop or book store, feel free to come up and start a chat. Not like I haven't done that to others before. I'm very approachable and I do owe each of you a thank you.

I did finally finish another video for YouTube that I'll be posting tomorrow night (Around 11:30 PM Eastern Time, and don't ask how I know the exact time. Just know my OCD dictates certain things. And the vid is up!). I've titled it "The Birth of George Bush". My sick and twisted humor really comes out in this flicker and yes, I do make an appearance though probably not in the way you'd think. I am so vague, you must wonder what the hell that means. Watch the vid and you'll see.

Meeza outta here.

Jimmy Carter, the Great American Hypocrite

How I love the irony: Jimmy Carter called George W. Bush the worst president in modern times. Now I will criticize ol' Dubya on many issues, but he is not the worst president in the past thirty years. That honor, my friends, goes to the all mighty Jimmy Carter.

Let me reminisce over the grand four years of the Georgia Peach:

He was a Democrat as was the majority in Congress much like Bush was a Republican with a Republican led Congress. Yet during Carter's administration there was a definite polarization of the legislature as Carter antagonized those who were supposed to be fellow party members leading to a general paralysis of federal authority/action. This was caused by Carter's repeated veto of Congressional provisions which led to them refusing to support his agenda. Both sides simply kept attacking each other rather than getting down to what they were there for: running the country. And this was the same party in both branches!

There was a severe economic downturn coupled with rising fuel prices. Yeah, that wasn't going to lock us into a downward spiral: jobs vanish causing people to spend less while fuel costs add to prices people already can't pay thus leading to larger losses causing more lay offs, etc. In fact, rising fuel prices led to rising energy prices leading to periods of brownouts. Nothing like the faltering light of democracy.

Of course, the above problem was greatly influenced by OPEC who proved exactly how vulnerable America was to foreign oil. What was Carter's response? Generally that the economic problem was caused by the American people's lack of confidence in their government. So the economic problem was the American people's problem, not an administration unwilling to either negotiate or find solutions to the OPEC problem? Yeah, good way to alienate your base.

While we're on the economy, it was during Carter's administration that interest rates hit their record high in America: 21.5% by December of 1980 (just before his stepping down in the wake of the Reagan tide). This of course led to a devaluing of investments and hurt the growing government deficit.

Carter proved himself incapable of following through on tax reform.

The American image was tarnished as we lost authority in Iran, still a leading opponent of ours. Even worse, Carter was unable to rescue embassy workers who were taken hostage shortly after the revolution led by the Ayatollah.

There was Carter's allowance of a massive exodus of Cubans into Florida, the Mariel Boat Lift. Now the illegal alien problem from Mexico is bad enough but that is due to lax border security which is gradually being tightened. Carter knowingly allowed thousands of Cubans into America without even worrying about their backgrounds. What was later discovered was that Castro had simply packed all his mentally unstable citizens along with a multitude of criminals onto the boats and shipped them over to us relieving himself of a major problem. Great on the background checks there, Jimmy. Don't even worry about who you're letting in.

Of course there was also Carter's willingness to sign a treaty surrendering the Panama Canal to Panama. Yeah, America financed and fought for Panamanian independence in order to gain the ground to build a canal (with our money) and the Panamanians simply get it all because they are complaining that it should be theirs. If Carter were smart he would have made them sign into the treaty that they would lease it from us until such time as they could afford to buy it outright. At least make them pay us back for one of "our" projects. Oh, and there was also the power vaccuum left by Carter's allowance of the Panamanians to push out American forces which was eventually filled by a drug cartler leader. Yeah, Carter was the master of creating unstable regimes.

On unstable regimes, let's follow two more. Carter decided human rights were more important than political reality thus he stopped his support of Somoza in Nicaragua. Of course this ended up leading to a civil war in that country. Hmm, guess trying to convince the guy to reform rather than backing his opposition just made too little sense. And then of course there was Zimbabwe. Carter complained that the election held there during his term had to be reheld because Mugabe was kept out of the list of candidates. Eventually Mugabe won due to Carter's support. Yeah, we saw how such progressive views led to a vibrant Zimbabwe.

There was also Carter's view that the Soviet Union's invasion into Afghanistan (a nation that is virtually useless both strategically and economically) and hurt America rather than the Soviet's by voiding the Russian Wheat Deal, an idea that had been used to establish trade with the U.S.S.R. and lessen Cold War tensions. Instead, it hurt farmers in America while the Soviets continued assaulting Afghanistan. It didn't matter that the Afghan government had asked for Soviet aid to put down revolutionaries. And of course, Carter's belief that America should help defend Afghan "independence" has only led to a brilliantly victory for fundamentalism over Communism. God over secularism. Awesome! That $40 billion investment in the Taliban paid off handsomely.

So, though I disagree somewhat with corporate practices, gas prices, involvement in Iraq, torture of suspects, tax cuts for the rich (largely the rescinding of estate taxes), and the increasing centralization of power at the executive which has proven so incompetent that states are doing things the federal government should take the lead in (clean/domestic fuel, immigration reform, environmental issues), at least this nation is in better shape than it was during Carter's four years. I think Carter should learn to watch his mouth and prove he learned something as a preacher: judge not lest ye be judged.

Life...ugh

Ok, I am horribly upset. I spent an hour and a half typing out my political platform for President (I might type it out again tonight. I don't know and it's a long story) and lost the entire damn thing! All ten pages! Gone! God, why have you smitten my computer with this pox?!?!?

Oh well, I did manage to get an article up on Drivl. Earth shattering? Not really, but at least someone dubbed my work worth electronic print.

I am sweating like crazy out here in the Midwest. Jesus, I feel so sticky. I have two fans on me at once and I'm still perspiring like a hog. I'm only 146 lbs. I don't have much to lose! I'm becoming the Incredible Shrinking Man!

So what to say now that I am still seething from the heat and losing an hour of my life? Eh, for fun I'll type out the twenty planks and probably elaborate on them tomorrow. And if you guys are willing to fund me as well as support me, hell, I'll actually run. Enjoy:

My Presidential Platform

1) Dissolution of Federal Reserve

2) Penal/Judicial Reform

3) Campaign Finance Reform

4) Replacement of Foreign Aid with Microloans

5) Sterilization of welfare recipients (trust me, it will make sense)

6) Privatization of Postal Service

7) Investment in alternative energy (beyond the farce we are seeing now)

8) English made the primary language (no, not xenophobic or racist)

9) Affirmative Action made illgeal (same as above)

10) Abortions legal to sixth month. After that only if threatening life of the mother.

11) Better border security. When I explain this you might agree or be horrified.

12) FCC stripped of censorship powers.

13) Term limits for all elected offices.

14) Legalization of drugs (listen to the argument before you scream!)

15) Corporate reform

16) End of athletics in elementary and secondary schools. Likewise, end to athletic scholarships.

17) End of the Cuban blockade

18) Flat Tax and a national VAT

19) Revocation of the "No Child Left Behind" Program

20) Spend as you go. In other words, a balanced budget.