Bush to Review Excessive Sentence Claims Of Million Other Felons

In light of his commutation of what he called the "excessive sentence" of I. Lewis Libby today, President Bush has agreed to review all sentences in the United States because "that would only be fair."

"Judges and panels of judges routinely review excessive sentence claims throughout the land," said Bush, " but the Libby case has made me see that our exhaustive system of appellate review is flawed."

The judge in the Libby case followed strict federal guidelines written by Congress and the U.S. Sentencing Commission, which labored for years to write an exacting code that was designed to ensure that all felons were treated equally. "What the guidelines do not take into account," said Bush, "is that some felons are more equal than others."

"These so-called 'guidelines' do not give adequate guidance to judges in certain cases," Bush said. His voice quavered as he added, "Some people -- for instance, rich and the powerful Republicans who, through no mistake of their own, are accidentally caught breaking the law -- sometimes do not receive proper treatment." Bush was then too overcome by emotion to continue with his statement. He retired to his residence on Kennebunkport to swill beer with President Putin, who agreed with the President's actions.

"In my country when pipples lied to the State, we tortured them," the former head of the KGB said, "except when they were fellow KGB. Then we clapped them on the back and danced with vodka bottles on our heads."

Other felons praised the President's decision. George Finnerty, a real estate maven doing six years for lying the I.R.S. about his income, said that Bush had "given all liars real hope."

Douglas W. Cox, who got ten months for testifying falsely about the ownership of five vending machines, prayed for Bush's forgiveness but was pessimistic. "I didn't come close to obstructing a Federal investigation of crime at the very highest levels of government," said Cox, shaking his head. "I don't think I qualify for the Libby treatment."

For her part, Lady Justice was happy to hear about President Bush's actions. "I'm so glad I'm not completely blind," she said.

Bush to Increase Funding for Hope-Based Initiatives

WASHINGTON—President Bush announced today that he will sign a bill providing an additional $2.8 billion for private organizations that emphasize the importance of hoping for change.

"This bill acknowledges the immeasurable role of hope in envisioning a better world for everyone," Bush said during a press conference. "Starting today, I ask all Americans to hope together as one nation that the difficult problems that grip our nation will go away someday."

The president's move will help direct federal funds to such groups as the National Hope Foundation, which has been hoping for a cure for cancer for nearly two decades.

"There are many in our country who are without hope," Bush said. "Yet there are many respected organizations in America that are actively hoping things get better. This program will assist these organizations in obtaining government grants, which will allow them to continue the important hoping that must be done."

Among the programs likely to receive funding is Project Hope You Don't Get Sick, a non-profit organization hoping that over 45 million Americans receive the proper health care they need.

Dream Job United, another likely recipient, is a widely acclaimed program in which the ill-prepared and uneducated are trained to hope for job interviews at top companies.

Another project slated for assistance in is a Louisiana-based teen-pregnancy reduction program, in which volunteers hope teens abstain from intercourse.

Under the bill, wish-based initiatives will also be eligible for increased funding. Dozens of independent wishful-thinking foundations, such as America Wishes Things Were Better, expect to receive grants to fund distribution of pennies, wishbones, and birthday candles.

Those with wishes and hopes applauded the president's move, saying that faith alone cannot rectify the nation's social ills.

"Faith-based problem-solving is noble, but we should not discount the power of hope," said veteran hoper Howard Thorndike, who heads the Please Oh Please Institute, a Houston-based wish tank. "'Hail Mary' strategies, for example, are a part of the fabric of our nation, from the football field to the boardroom, and our government ignores such traditions at its peril."

Bush echoed Thorndike's sentiments. "As your president, I have seen firsthand what hoping can do," he said. "I have heard stories of decent people trapped under piles of rubble, and I have hoped that they would be rescued. And eventually, many were. Recently, powerful storms and destructive hurricanes ravaged some of our great cities. I hope that you will join me in wishing that we do not get hit by any more of those."

Bush added: "Laura and I hope every night that good things will happen for our great country. My fellow Americans, I call on you to do the same."

My Current Status...

Oh me oh my, a wild weekend tis has been! I reached #31,753 on the Amazon sales list! Not bad, especially with how I've been busting my hump to get my book out there. Hopefully by the end of the year the good ol' brick and mortar stores will carry it along with their internet incarnates. Then I feel sales could get real interesting, and my ass into some major controversy. Mock God and America hates you. Go figure. And no, I haven't forgotten you, the consumer, buying my book. I am grateful. I swear never to become an arrogant prick. If you ever run into me, probably in a coffee shop or book store, feel free to come up and start a chat. Not like I haven't done that to others before. I'm very approachable and I do owe each of you a thank you.

I did finally finish another video for YouTube that I'll be posting tomorrow night (Around 11:30 PM Eastern Time, and don't ask how I know the exact time. Just know my OCD dictates certain things. And the vid is up!). I've titled it "The Birth of George Bush". My sick and twisted humor really comes out in this flicker and yes, I do make an appearance though probably not in the way you'd think. I am so vague, you must wonder what the hell that means. Watch the vid and you'll see.

Meeza outta here.

Rant rant rant

I've discovered rational discourse isn't possible through blogging. If one is upset with a reply, they delete it. And for all the "college educations" of the many people I try to talk to, I get blanket assertions without verifiable facts to support them or even life experience to explain them. Most of you people truly help to further ingrain my loathing for American society. You liberals are far too smug and withdrawn from reality to make any sort of decision. And you conservatives, you are as brainless as the fundamentalists over in Iraq and the Middle East only you use Jesus rather than Muhammad to defend your views.

I wrote a post a long time ago about what I would do if elected president. Looking through these many blogs, I know this nation has a long way to go before it's ready for any type of radical change. This country hasn't hit rock bottom yet. Until we crash none of you is going to be willing to sacrifice to make things better. Boo hoo, life is so hard for you. Suck it the fuck up. Stop trying to make excuses or laying blame. Start trying to solve the problem or stop bitching about it. Jesus Christ. I hate the war in Iraq. It's illegal. According to constitutional law, this nation may go to war if authorized by Congress. Congress approved. That is legal. Rather than recycling the sound bytes from CNN, try a little bit of book work. Was the info trumped up to support our invasion of Iraq? Sure. So was the basis of the War of 1812, the Mexican-American War, and the Spanish-American War. Yet we are so proud of those conquests. Trust me, the Iraqi situation isn't new. History repeats if any of you were actually capable of reading beyond your lifespan. Oh, but this is the me-me generation.

Materialism and individualism has rotted out the moral core of this nation. Everything has to be immediate, easy, and cheap. Everyone has an opinion and they all are shouting above one another to be heard. It's nothing but noise to me.

Oh, and to those who think my posts are "too long", sorry if I'm giving you something to read. I'm not as skilled as Goebbel's at writing quick tracts to inspire and inform you on reality. I'm just giving you a bit to chew on.

Ugh, why bother. I'll stick to solving the only things I care about. This war and the state of this nation do not belong in that list. I'm too cynical to give two shits about what happens to most of you. You have it coming.

The nature of politics today

You know, more and more everyday and I am really being repulsed by the Republican Party. Now I am a moderate with some conservative leanings (belief in gun rights, capital punishment, small government, an end to welfare, etc.) with only a smattering of liberal views (belief in abortion, redistribution of wealth though through a VAT rather than an income tax). I don't believe completely in the power of rehabilitation. Certain cases, such as sexual assault and mental illness, I fail to believe in second chances. One cannot force individuals to take medication nor can one expect to ever rewire an individuals sexual proclivities. That is biologicial fact. The willingness of many Democrats to ease prison restrictions and make an inmate's life more comfortable than mine were for the longest time something that kept me at arms length. Now, the Republicans are truly beginning to piss the living shit out of me.

I was tired enough of listening to Bush blackmail this nation for years along the lines of, "If you don't do what I say, 9-11 will happen again. If you don't believe in me you aren't a patriot. You want your friends to die. You want our soldiers to die. Do what I say and don't challenge me." I heard enough of this BS in church where one isn't expected to think but to succumb. Anyone or any organization that does not believe in constructive criticism or debate knows they are not completely in the right, have a shaky faith, and probably shouldn't be incontrol. A problem cannot simply be solved head on. Bush has surrounded himself with sycophants who refuse to tell him alternatives, to challenge him, to make him govern effectively. With so much power in such mediocre hands is it any wonder this nation has gone into the crapper? Certain people laud what he has done but what I have seen is a system of divide and conquer used most effectively by tyrants.

Have you ever wondered why there is so much war in Africa? It is because of the historical culture built up by European efforts at colonization. Being the minority, the Europeans found ways to create groups and pit them against each other. It helped to prevent any group from rising up and threatening the artificial status quo created to benefit the few at the expense of the many. When the Europeans imploded following two world wars and left a vaccuum in their wake, Africa never recovered. I am afraid that this nation might be following that course. What was once a united country in one shape or form has grown more disparate, more fragmented, more hostile. Bush has used so many tools to ward our eyes from war to fear to patriotism: the tools of despots. He rewards those who support him, those power players who finance his campaigns and keep him squarely in authority. Bush sacrifices underlings to protect himself and the illegal activities that he does. Illegal wiretapping, spying, government contracts to corrupt organizations, torture, and worse. Bush uses the same scheme as Hitler: when something untoward is uncovered, of course he never knew about it. He is insulated by a layer of underlings. This administration is so rotten it is making me sick.

And now once great men are following his stead believing it will lead them to power. McCain, a man I once admired, has so sold his soul that I cannot stand to look at him anymore. He has become a liar (Baghdad safe anyone?), a conformer (belief in abortion and the Christian conservatives, a true pox on modern politics), and a syophant (Bush is right on the surge). Giuliani has become an echo of Bush policy (need for extreme government intervention to prevent 9-11, Democrats threaten the safety of this country, blah blah). These men are not fit to govern. I will not elect them. I cannot.



I refuse to go through another eight years of military involvement in what is a foreign government's obligation to right itself. Split Iraq into the three separate entities it is and allow those new nations to find their way. We didn't try to force Yugoslavia to remain a single entity. Tax breaks need to come to a close. In fact, I believe income tax should be set to a flat tax and a national VAT created so that the rich finally don't have a loophole to escape paying their fair share. They want to live like kings, pay the taxes on the goods that pleasure you so. No Child Left Behind needs to stop. A nation of test takers? There is a reason the educational system is decentralized: flexibility. Immigration: time to either start enforcing the laws or for these various employment opportunities to face up and move south of the border. I cannot defend anyone who breaks the law simply because they want a better life. Perhaps our nation, rather than continually throwing money away to buy influence abroad, should create an organization that provides microloans to Mexicans in their home country to spur on economic growth so that they will have no reason to come north to search out jobs only to be met by the backlash of a nation that fears them and their cheap labor. Time to own up to the Kyoto Pact rather than sell out to businesses who only think of the profits today rather than the environmental ruin of tomorrow. Financial accountability would also be nice. I have to spend as I earn. Why the hell should government have the right to continually spend more of my money without my say? Folks, I could go on all day.



Now, regardless of what I'm saying I'm not a Democrat. I believe them to be spineless, too idealistic and out of touch with reality, and far too willing to raise taxes to give to the "poor and downtrodden". Welfare wrecked this country. You give people money without earning it and it soons becomes an entitlement. I believe in the Pavlovian Reflex. If they stay poor they get paid. Why bother to work for something one can get for free? There is no incentive there. I believe mandatory sterilization should begin for all individuals on wlefare. If you can't take care of yourself then you have no right to do with your body something you have no right to. I also do not believe in total withdrawal from Iraq. The place is in such a shambles that with us gone it is no doubt that someone will try to step in (Iran, Syria, etc.). Then there are the candidates. Hilary is almost as bad as Bush, willing to lie through her teeth in order to garner support from anyone and everyone. Yeah, I trust you with this nation! Obama has gradually shown himself to be a political animal turning Virginia Tech into a chip on the political table with his statements meant to capitalize on that tragedy. Not even the decency to leave it alone. And since when has jobs being moved overseas been perceived as violence, Barack?

I'm telling you, if I had the money I'd probably move to fucking Canada. Canada! You see how insane I'm becoming!?!? Sure it's dull, quiet, and really empty up north but at least things still work there. And for those who call me a traitor to my country and get the hell out if I don't like it, I ask you this: if you are willing to accept something rather than do what is best for you and those around you, refuse to even try to change things for the better, unwilling to give back and improve the country that you so love, then how are you anything but freeloaders? If you aren't an active citizen, then why do you call yourself a patriot?