The Truth About Human Evolution

It is now widely accepted that Homo Sapiens are not members of the great ape / primate family, but an independent branch decended from bees (Busybee Honeyi, to be precise). For too long the global conspiracy of biologists, supported by corrupt governments, has tried to keep this secret. Now that the secret is out (thanks to zoner), the conspiracy will collapse and the Biblical Truth will prevail.

As fellow truth-seeker Mark Isaak pointed out on alt.atheism, "It wasn't a conspiracy, but a simple mistake. In his handwritten draft of Descent of Man, Darwin wrote that we are descended from "Apis" (i.e., honey bees). His editor, not being an entomologist, didn't know that word. He assumed it should be "Apes" and made the change throughout the manuscript. Lazy graduate students have been copying the error for generations and enshrining it in the papers they later publish themselves."

Biologists, realising their embarrassing mistakes sought to cover up the Truth, and thus the so-called Ape Conspiracy was born.

"Ah, but of course we are related to the Apes", I hear you cry. Consider this damning evidence first:

We are bald, apes are dirty and hairy.

We have many clear and clever languages. Apes can barely make their desire for bananas be known to each other.

We live in complex buildings. Apes live in trees and forests. In the mud.

We have a complex hiearchical society, with one leader ruling over millions of individuals. Apes have one leader ruling over each group of about a dozen. This cannot be very efficient, I'm sure you'll agree.

We share about 98% of the same DNA as apes. An obvious red herring on God's part, to flush out the evil athiest biologists.

Bees are born from eggs.

"And just how exactly are we descended from bees?", I hear you wail. Well, it's fairly obvious when YOU SEE THE TRUTH!

Bees are also bald (they may have "fur", but it is nothing like the stinking filthy growth on monkeys).

Bees have complex communications, which we are only just beginning to understand (the "waggle dance").

Beehives. Need I say more? Note the other close relations - termites, with their air-conditioned skyscrapers (and recent research has discovered evidence of elevators).

Bees also live in a complex society, with the Queen dominating all others, and each individual having it's own set of tasks.

We share little DNA with bees, to throw unbelievers off the scent.

Humans are born from eggs (ovum)

Humans and bees have a love of honey (a bit of a giveaway, I'd have thought).

Many cosmetic products for humans contain Royal Jelly, obviously demonstrating our ancient dependence on the substance.

The truth shall be known. The false biology is crumbling. Evolution is known to be a false doctrine, and it's final defences are shattered.

I ask all you false atheists to cease your sinful ways, and acknowledge your true place in the hieararchy of Creation, alongside our cousin and closest relative, the Bee.