A return to school

So it is seeming more and more a reality that I am going to be returning to college this Fall. Yes, yes, I am more than likely going to start towards my Psychology degree and the excitement is taking even me by surprise. I'm loving the possibilities this is opening for my future. Likewise, it is a subject I excel at. Large parts of my family are unstable/dysfunctional and I have seen my fair share of mental meltdowns. Hell, I nearly had a breakdown two years ago but that is an entirely different story.

I'm not a stranger to the field. I took enough classes during my first degree that Psychology was nearly a minor. One of my fave classes was Abnormal Psych, which I wrote a paper for regarding the mental health of Ivan the Terrible. I also took a Russian History class not long afterwards leading me to the realization that Drozny, Ivan's nickname, meant feared. Funny part is feared can be taken either in the negative, the Terrible, or positive, revered. Funny little culture isn't it? I did a psych profile on the Russian nation along with others regarding my political classes. If one would simply take history into perspective and view nations as organic entities, you'd be surprised how well you can come to understand a people.

I've always applied psychology to my writing. I got into a major argument with the collegiate faculty over my thesis last Fall. Some professors just don't want the human perspective added to any equation.

I'm so tired of having to view human beings as nothing more than statistics. I want to get my hands dirty. I want to experience the myriad of personalities out there; see the soul in all its forms. Mankind fascinates me. What makes us who we are? What forms those gears, causes them to turn?

The scary part? I'm not into this field to make millions coddling the fragile, bruised egos of the pampered aristocracy whose only malady is infections caused by sycophantic parasites whose attention causes their highnesses mental capacities to atrophy. I want to wade into darker waters. I want to stare into those empty eyes and see the abyss. Maybe in the fallen I can find some semblance of purpose. For them. For me. The damned aren't a warning. They are a lesson. I want to see what they can teach me.