The Holy Trinity: Id, Ego, Super Ego

You'd be surprised at all the stories I carry around in my head. Well, if you knew me, you probably wouldn't be that surprised. I was always better at creating worlds rather than living in the "real" one. I am the classic withdrawn type. Reality has never really held much for me. Too much pain. Too much disappointment. I just love the power of control over destiny and fate. You could call my id, ego, and superego the holy trinity of my soul and the many worlds which co-exist within this inner existence.

I try not to think in a single genre. Science Fiction, fantasy, horror, comedy, action, adventure: my mind is quite multi-faceted. The building blocks are snatches of old movies, life experiences, history, and forgotten myth. I know when I have a "special" tale when it evokes feelings in me. That is one of the more disturbing parts of my life: I need to invoke artifical sensations because of the fact that I simply cannot feel otherwise.

Perhaps that is why I love writing so much. Fleshing out my soul, giving substance to the thereal parts of my spirit. Sometimes what I say seems wacky and nonsensical, but there is always more to what I write than what it seems. I tend to think symbolically and put in so many subtle pieces laced into every sentence that it is easy to overlook them. I think that is something that has irked me most about some "professionals" who have critiqued my past work. These individuals don't read a story; they examine it. It is the difference between a psychiatrist and a friend. The former will dissect your mind, understand the structure of it, why you do the things you do. But they don't "know" you. They gloss over that unique character, never truly understand the real you. A friend hears what you are really saying, gathers a sense of who you are. They comprehend the whole rather than the parts.

This is the problem of specialization. We become so finely honed and sharpened in one field that we atrophy in others. Perhaps there are flaws in my works, but there is more heart than in most successful titles. Do I need to read yet another book about a struggling father and son? Do I need to read another book on how to improve myself? Or should I read something that actually dares to be different? Something that actually challenges convention, is willing to disturb or anger individuals because it causes them to think? Novels and the publishing industry have become so generalized, so unwilling to move beyond what works, that we, the audience, have become desensitized to the glory of literature. That is the real reason the publishing industry is suffering now. We no longer get that thrill from something new, something fresh, something that makes us think. We need books that challenge us, that make us feel and question. That is the purpose of art: to transcend the now in order to understand the whole. If one can't do that, why even bother to be?