Avenging an Allied Hoax: Hitler Part 3

If the man who died in the Berlin bunker was actually Gustav Weber, one of Hitler's doubles whose body was found and photographed by the Russian Army, then how did the real Adolf Hitler's corpse end up being burned in the Chancellery garden?

In 1943, the body of a Royal Marines captain was washed ashore on the coast of Spain. His case contained the Allied invasion plans for Europe. The Germans believed what they found. But little did they know that the body had been packed in dry ice and dropped from a submarine as part of one of the most elaborate hoaxes of the war.

This war hoax became the subject of a recent BBC documentary called "The Corpse that Fooled the Axis." Based on the discovery of the captain's body, the Germans erroneously concluded that the Allies planned to attack Greece, rather than Sicily. It marked a major turning point in the war and signaled the final downfall of Nazi power and control over Fortress Europe. Since the Allied forces used a dead body to dupe and defeat Germany, it may have been a tit for tat retaliation, to repay in kind, for Nazi agents to do just the same thing with Hitler's corpse.



Reich leaders may have avenged the Allied hoax by packing Adolf Hitler's dead body and transporting it from their hidden mountain Redoubt fortress to his Berlin bunker garden, where it was incompletely destroyed by fire. When the Russians finally pieced together the clues and discovered his actual remains, it appeared to the Allies that Hitler had been in his Berlin bunker all along, and probably died there. But it was really a double who died in Berlin. Fooled by an Axis corpse? In this way, the existence of the Nazi National Redoubt was never publicly acknowledged, and its location was never revealed. Hitler's most important and most dangerous doppelganger was able to escape punishment, leaving behind him the bodies of Gustav and Adolf.

The Final Switch-Over

A few days before Hitler's alleged 1945 suicide, some bunker guests began to suspect that he was an impostor. According to reports, "all his movements were those of a senile man" who appeared to be about 70 years old, somewhat older than his actual age. As if to celebrate imposture, during the last days of the war, Germany launched "Operation Greif" (Skorzeny's Panzer Brigade 150) with its men outfitted in American uniforms and driving captured American tanks, trucks and jeeps. Thus, thousands of US soldiers as far away as Paris had to be stopped by Allied military police and asked to prove their nationality by telling who won the baseball World Series. Even Himmler was later caught trying to pass through British and American lines between Hamburg and Bremerhaven with his mustache shaved, wearing a black patch over his left eye.

Modern historians maintain that the Americans would probably have reached Berlin before the Russians if Eisenhower had not tried to find Hitler's Alpine mountain retreat. The Nazi National Redoubt was assumed to have been somewhere near Hitler's "Eagle's Nest" mountain villa, the Berghof in Berchtesgaden. It was rumored to have been stocked with Nazi jets, rockets, and possibly nuclear weapons. Eisenhower's chief of staff, General Bedell Smith, warned "of a prolonged campaign in the Alpine area." But a Nazi Redoubt fortress was never found in the Alpine mountains.

To the Allies, Hitler's final war actions seemed absurd and contradictory. While Berlin was being attacked by Russian troops from the north, Hitler ordered an all-out counterattack in the southern suburbs of Berlin, led by S.S. General Felix Steiner. Perhaps the actual reason for that Nazi build-up was to form a column for the "final switch-over" to be carried out. The authentic Hitler corpse and its death scene photo would secretly be moved into the Berlin Chancellery bunker, from the hidden Nazi southern Redoubt. The death scene setting would then be carefully reconstructed on the Berlin bunker floor, with a murdered doppelganger, while the real Adolf Hitler's last remains would be burned outside in the garden. If such a final switch-over mission occurred it might answer a critical question of the last days of the war: General Steiner did indeed assemble a massive German arrangement of troops south of Berlin. But he never launched a counterattack. What were the German troops really there for?

"The withdrawal of troops from the north of Berlin to support Steiner had so weakened the front there that the Russians had broken through and their tanks were now within the city limits."

There can be little doubt that Steiner's military column in the southern suburbs of Berlin was privately linked to Obergruppenfuehrer Gottlob Berger, who was head of Himmler's Prisoner-of-War Administration. Captured official Nazi documents clearly stated that "important prisoners were being moved."

Eva Braun arrived in Berlin to join Hitler on April 15. The last visitors to the Chancellery bunker were Hanna Reitsch, a crack woman test pilot, and General Ritter von Greim. Those high ranking visits would have provided the best cover for the final body switch-over, perhaps flown in and regulated by "an unidentified S.S. orderly." We also know that Hitler's double or doppelganger was in the Berlin bunker at that time. On April 30, for example, at about 2:30 in the morning, it was probably a doppelganger who emerged from Hitler's private quarters and appeared in the general dining passage where some 20 persons were assembled. He walked speechlessly down the line shaking their hands with tears in his eyes. Then, an uncanny "party" began in the canteen which went on through the night. Hitler's so-called suicide finally took place at about 3:15 in the afternoon. Shortly after 3:30 Heinz Linge and an unidentified S.S. orderly carried out a male body to the Chancellery garden, wrapped in a blanket.

Martin Bormann immediately sent messages to Hitler's successor, Admiral Doenitz, notifying him that he was now the new leader of Germany. Yet Bormann did not even once mention to Doenitz that the Fuhrer was dead. Was he? Meanwhile, the Goebbels family, also temporarily living in the Berlin bunker, decided to poison their six children. An unidentified S.S. orderly then supposedly killed Goebbels and his wife with two shots in the garden, at their request. The rest of the guests made efforts to escape along the subway. In a ghastly display of villainous irony to avoid punishment, an "important prisoner" was moved for the last time and finally put to rest; deserted by everyone, betrayed by all. "Nothing remains. Every wrong has already been done me."

Two "Hitler corpses" were actually discovered at the Berlin bunker, although only one gunshot sound was ever reported by the bunker witnesses. One of the men was shot in another setting and his body was then moved into the Berlin bunker. How far was he moved? A few streets or almost 2,000 kilometers? Which corpse belonged to the "real" Hitler could not be established by the Allies until after a long-running forensic investigation.

They should have kicked it.


The bloodstained mattress (above right) was discovered in 1980, in a hidden underground World War II bunker. On a map of the world, this bunker is located in a Greek rock called Lycabettus almost 2,000 kilometers below Berlin, or south of Germany. The mathematical likelihood that similarities between mattress folds, blood spots, and markings on the floor are due to random coincidences, is astronomical. In other words, it is more probable that a comet will fall into your tea cup, than for the bunker resemblances to be the results of sheer chance. A body was not found in the Lycabettus bunker, but the evidence of torture was obvious.
They should have kicked that mattress across the floor.




Visible portion of mattress in the
official photo (above) corresponds
to destroyed part of mattress in
the Lycabettus bunker (middle).
Compare to sofa (bottom) where
Hitler allegedly shot himself.

But why dirty their boots?



With radioactive oxide.

The chair with a hole in it (above) was found near the mattress in a corner of the Lycabettus bunker, next to a pile of burnt newspaper shreds from the early 1940s featuring articles about the Nazis. A small ball of clay or soil, pressed around the foot of the chair, bewildered the investigators. It was later concluded that "feet of clay" were used to psychologically torture a hostage tied to the chair, who was probably ordered not to move, but to remain perfectly still and motionless at all times. Any movement of the chair would cause the clay lump to crumble and break into smaller fragments. The guards could then measure even the slightest movements that had occurred while they were not in the bunker, and punish the hostage accordingly. A hole in the seat of the chair may have been due to an act of extreme violence or a malicious experiment. The male body discovered in the Berlin Chancellery garden had only one testicle, according to the Russian autopsy report.



In 1980 I briefly rented a basement apartment in Athens, Greece (Lycabettus - Kolonaki district). One day while cleaning, I discovered a framed canvas that covered a metal door in one of the walls. It looked like a submarine door with an air lock. I called some friends over to help me open it. We had to remove parts of the wooden floor-boards. The bunker walls were a few feet thick. When we opened the door, we found the evidence of a Nazi torture chamber, which I immediately photographed.



The chair with a hole in it was found near the bloody mattress in a corner of the Lycabettus bunker next to a pile of burnt newspaper shreds from the early 1940s featuring articles about the Nazis.

A small ball of clay or soil, pressed around the foot of the chair, bewildered us. We later concluded that "feet of clay" were used to psychologically torture a hostage tied to the chair, who was probably ordered not to move, but to remain perfectly still and motionless at all times. Any movement of the chair would cause the clay lump to crumble and break into smaller fragments. The guards could then measure even the slightest movements that had occurred while they were not in the bunker, and punish the hostage accordingly. A hole in the seat of the chair may have been due to an act of extreme violence or a malicious experiment. I sent the photos to the local police department, but they arrived too late. When the authorities finally got there about a month later, I had been evicted and the evidence had already been removed.

It haunted me for some time. The big question was: who was the Lycabettus hostage or victim of this torture chamber? I visited libraries and bookstores looking for war photos that might resemble the Kolonaki bunker. Then in 1997, I found an official war picture that matched up perfectly.





The mathematical likelihood that similarities between mattress folds, blood spots, and markings on the floor are due to random coincidences is astronomical. In other words, it is more probable that a comet will fall into your tea cup than for the bunker resemblances to be the results of sheer chance.

Please note that I am not out to "prove" anything with this description. I mainly wish to publish a report of what was found in the Lycabettus bunker so that legal investigators can establish what may have happened there. The only problem is this: The dead person in the official photo appears to be Adolf Hitler's double. The alleged body of the Nazi Fuehrer discovered in the Berlin Chancellery garden had only one testicle according to the Russian autopsy report.

What was a "ghost detainee" doing in the Kolonaki bunker? Was this a case of identity theft or extraordinary rendition? How long was the victim being held as a tortured hostage? How were the Nazis using the Kolonaki - Lycabettus district of Athens during World War Two? A war crime appears to have been committed in the Lycabettus bunker. But why are the authorities today not willing to discover who the victim actually was?

Was the same person in both photos? Hitler Part 2

A blurred portrait is visible in the controversial photos of Adolf Hitler's "doppelganger suicide." In the picture above on the left, the out of focus portrait was placed directly onto the corpse. In the Russian movie footage frame on the right, the blurred portrait appears as a prop in the background. This change of position invites serious speculation that the body may also have been moved, switched, or meddled with between photos.


The out-of-focus portrait is probably a photograph of Eva Braun. It's size, contours, shadows, and range of luminance all bear marked similarities to a now-famous series of photos taken by Heinrich Hoffmann, who was Hitler's personal photographer and "corporate" image maker. Eva Braun was Hoffmann's model and darkroom assistant. Whoever included that portrait in the morbid bunker death scene may have done so to lend authenticity to Hitler's suicide deception. But instead of inspiring pity for the Fuhrer's parting gesture to the only woman who could have known him, it cast a spotlight directly on Heinrich Hoffmann's delight for photographic trickery and the likelihood of fraud. The ridiculous presence of a Hoffmann pinup exactly on Hitler's own dead body was almost an outright confession of photographic hocus-pocus, with some help from Eva Braun.

Imagine that you're a high-ranking public official for one of the world's most powerful governments.

The phone rings and suddenly a man who introduces himself as "the butler" calmly informs you that the head of your government is dead. But the courteous butler asks you to trust him on this, because there's nothing to prove his claim, other than disfigured parts of a charred corpse with one testicle, and some gasoline rags, rammed into the ground-soil of a garden with a clumsy wooden club.

Being a responsible civil servant, you quiver and wonder why it was necessary to shame your leader's body in such a macabre way. No funeral or burial rites? Diplomatic Corpus strictly forbids the morbid abuse of the deceased body of a head of state. Doing so would constitute a serious crime...

"I did it with the bodyguard," the butler's voice politely cuts you off, "to prevent the enemy from desecrating his body."

While the reason for destroying vital evidence may seem dubious, if not bogus, you must now make a critical choice: Either insist on more proof, including photographs, or simply trust the butler and affix your signature to a formal agreement for the transfer of world power.

For obvious reasons, this report assumes that at least one of the exhibited Hitler suicide photos was authentic. Other photos were of his dead look-alike.



The top photo is how Hitler's suicide picture was shown in most reports. Visible parts of his white shirt (below the blue arrow) suggest that his vest-front was fastened or buttoned on the left side of his uniform. But according to western military dress regulations, the side-fronts of vests, shirts, and coats should always be fasten with rows of buttons located on the right side of the male soldier's uniform.

The confusing vest evokes the idea that the picture may have been intentionally printed in reverse from left to right, to mirror the image and misrepresent details of locality. The correct dress orientation is in the bottom photo.

Printing negatives backwards is a trick used by portrait photographers to present desirable views because their subjects are accustomed to seeing themselves in mirrors. (See: photographer Hoffmann; assistant, Eva Braun.)

Although the Berlin bunker witnesses never mentioned it in their testimonies, there is a high probability that the successors of Nazism would have required an authentic image of Hitler's corpse before it was destroyed by fire. The photographic evidence would not have been intended for Allied investigators, but for remaining top-ranking Germans who would have certainly desired legitimate details of his death. Such admissible proof would need to serve two purposes: to convince Reich hardliners that Hitler was indeed dead, yet to also mislead the Allies in their inquiry, without failing lie detector tests. Therefore, at least one suicide picture may have been a genuine image of Hitler, not his double (or doppelganger). The photographic negatives, or exposed film in a camera, may have been intentionally left in the Berlin bunker for the Russians to discover. The photo would almost exactly match the movie film footage of Hitler's dead double, taken by the Red Army.

While we know that one of Hitler's doppelgangers died in the Berlin Chancellery bunker, the real Adolf Hitler may have died elsewhere, perhaps even in the German National Redoubt, which was never found by the Allies. If so, an elaborate suicide cover-up would have been required for an important reason: to hide the true whereabouts of the National Redoubt, which according to some observers, was the secret site of Nazi nuclear weapons research. To conceal its location, it would have been necessary to spread a new propaganda myth that there never was a hidden mountain Redoubt, no Nazi nuclear weapons site, and the Fuhrer directed the war from his Berlin bunker, where he finally committed suicide.

An authentic image of Adolf Hitler's corpse was perhaps needed to circulate throughout the world and inform escaped or imprisoned Nazi activists, while deceiving the Allied search. Here is where Hoffmann's photographic trickery came into play: the well-known portrait of Eva Braun was printed in reverse, as a mirror image from left to right, and placed on the body of the real Adolf Hitler laying dead on a floor, somewhere in the German National Redoubt. The corpse's death scene was then carefully photographed and also printed in reverse (duplicated on film). The portrait of Eva on Hitler's body would now appear normal again; with its left and right appearance restored to the correct, original view. Although there would be a slight increase in image contrast, no one would suspect tampering.

But the very small background details of the National Redoubt floor's surface would be seen the other way around, and not match properly with other Allied intelligence photos. An authentic photo of Hitler's death could thus be released for Nazis in custody and on trial to view and allude to as an absolute fact, without failing lie detector tests. But the details of the Redoubt killing floor would never be compromised or shown plainly to Allied investigators. To complete the cover-up, all that was left to do now was to reconstruct the very same scene, using one of Hitler's doubles on the Berlin bunker floor, for the Russians to discover. Of course, Eva Braun's famous portrait would also be placed conspicuously among the bunker debris, as the misleading "clincher." Soon enough, the burnt remains of the real Adolf Hitler would turn up in the Chancellery garden, nowhere near the hidden National Redoubt.

Was the same person in both photos?

One of the Hitler suicide photos displays greater contrast and sharper focus than the other pictures. It may have been taken by a still camera with well-defined exposure settings and better lens quality than the photos which were printed from blurred Russian movie footage. The bunker room lighting contrast is not identical in both pictures below. In the well-defined photo (left), the shadows are dark enough to block out all details under the chin. But the Russian film frame photo shows softer shadows, allowing us to see skin tones and fabric textures in the shaded regions. There is also a barely noticeable difference from the light source (of just a few degrees) in the angle of the shadow which falls from the nose to the mouth. In the Russian film frame photo (right), the angle of the shadow is very slightly displaced toward the center of the upper lip. If the Nazis did indeed produce a multiple fraud with near-microscopic precision, it would have probably been the most important, and expensive, cover-up in history. Remarkably, the characteristic mustache which Hitler was well-known for is not clearly discernible in either of the photos. Below are some other confusing points:


The missing mattress: In the well-defined photo (above), Hitler's corpse is laying with his head at the corner of a stained mattress. But in the Russian movie film frame (right), the mattress is not visible. Although the film frame was shot from a different camera angle than the other photo, the edge of the mattress should be visible above the body's shoulder or behind his coat lapel. A portrait (of Eva Braun?) on Hitler's body in the left photo was moved to the background in the right frame. Perhaps the body and other objects were also moved.

Was one scene a reconstructed copy of the other?

The open mouth: In the well-focused photo (left), Hitler's mouth is gaping wide enough to expose a tooth or part of his tongue. His upper lip appears to be cracked and smudged. But in the Russian film frame the mouth seems almost shut, with no visible smudge marks on the upper lip. When a camera lens is out of focus, details will appear blurred and lines will thicken as the light rays scatter from edges and contours. This can be seen in the apparently larger size of the forehead bullet wound in the blurred frame on the right. Yet, the outline of the mouth does not appear to be thicker or larger in that photo, but thinner and narrower than in the picture on the left.

The mutilated or cauliflower ear: The anatomical structure of the external ear changes from person to person. A doppelganger who may otherwise appear to be an exact look-alike of someone else will probably have noticeable differences in the elevated ring of cartilage on the external ear. The fleshy ear lobe may also display separate features. As a means of removing undesirable clues, the ear was apparently mutilated to avoid comparison. In both photos, the ear seems thickened and deformed, perhaps by repeated blows.


In the frame on the right, the corner of some light-colored, rectangular object(s) can be seen on the floor, just behind the back of Hitler's head. But the converging edges of this flat-sided object are not visible in the photo on the left.

The reality of no floor object(s) seen in one picture seems to indicate (together with the missing bloodstained mattress) that Hitler's body may have been moved between photos. But if so, it appears that the corpse was carefully lifted up and placed on the floor again with near exact precision. This probably would have required a team of photo-stylists to make sure each detail, including the folds on both sides of the coat-front and the hanging strands of hair, matched as much as possible in both pictures. Yet there is no reason why the Russian Army would have contrived such a deception. It is more likely that one of the two suicide photos was produced by a different camera, perhaps even in a different bunker or at an earlier time. How the Soviets may have taken possession of it remains a mystery. Various Reich military cameras were no doubt found on the Chancellery bunker shelves and in pieces of luggage.

While it may not be possible to determine if it's the same person in these photos, sufficient evidence seems to indicate that the body was moved between photos. How far had Hitler's body been moved, just a few feet - or almost two thousand kilometers?

If the man who died in the Berlin bunker was actually Gustav Weber, one of Hitler's doubles whose body was found and photographed by the Russian Army, then how did the real Adolf Hitler's corpse end up being burned in the Chancellery garden?

The World was Lied to about Hitler's Death

'Identity Theft' must be carried out before an impostor can use the name of another person to commit fraud

As the Third Reich collapsed in the spring of 1945, the Russians were the first to enter Berlin and capture Adolf Hitler's bunker. Then, the Soviet Union made a series of contradictory statements or lies concerning Hitler's death. Stalin announced to Truman during lunch in Potsdam on July 17, that Hitler did not commit suicide but had probably escaped. After that, the Russians released photographs of what they claimed to be Hitler's corpse on a dingy floor.

Finally, they asserted that Hitler's burnt remains, together with the body of his mistress Eva Braun, were discovered on May 4, by Soviet soldiers outside the Berlin Chancellery bunker, in the garden.

After 50 years, Russian officials said the photos of Hitler's corpse were part of authentic military film footage from the Moscow Central Archive. But the glasnost photos created more problems than they solved. The main question is: whose body is really in the pictures - was it Adolf Hitler or his double? If it actually was Hitler, then the photos (or film footage) must have been taken by someone inside the bunker before Hitler's corpse was burned with gasoline in the Chancellery garden. It is assumed that Red Army soldiers took the photos just after they captured Berlin.


Were these photos confiscated from Third Reich leaders or printed from a camera deliberately left in the bunker? To confuse us, the released photos were sometimes published in reverse, from left to right, in a mirror image, to misrepresent details. Were they retouched or manipulated? Props were applied to the background, including a blurred female portrait which in one photo appears on the dead man's chest. Reports also mention a "group photo" of soldiers standing around the corpse, which may have been moved between photos. The man in the pictures has not been positively identified.

No other photos of Hitler's body were ever released by the Russians, who insist they discovered his corpse and performed several autopsies to positively identify him. How and why such an extremely important forensic investigation could have been conducted in the 20th century, without extensive photographic evidence, remains one of the great mysteries of modern history. Surely, the world was lied to about Hitler's death.

Various Western sources have reported that the dead body in the photo was Hitler's double (or doppelganger), a man called Gustav who was executed with a gunshot to the forehead. Some give his name as Gustav Weber, while other say he was Gustav Weler. No further attempts were made to identify him. By contrast, reports now circulate in Russia that an actor, Andreas Kronstaedt, was the impersonator who had volunteered to die in Hitler's place. This was the theme of the 1996 film, Conversation with the Beast, directed by one of Fassbinder's followers, Armin Mueller-Stahl. Meanwhile, in Germany some suspicion still points to Julius Schreck, who was Hitler's favorite driver and party member from 1921. He occasionally acted as Hitler's double because of their resemblance.

According to some reports, Schreck died in a traffic accident in 1936. Other reports say that he died from an abscessed tooth fever. To confuse matters more, Time magazine once wrote that Hitler's alleged double was Heinrich Bergner who was killed in July, 1944 when a bomb or hand grenade exploded under Hitler's table. Other publications said that a stenographer named Berger died when Colonel Claus Schenk Graf von Stauffenberg planted a bomb under Hitler's chair on July 20, 1944, at his headquarters in East Prussia. Some sources have oddly suggested that the burnt corpse found in the Chancellery garden was that of SS-Gruppenfuehrer Hermann Fegelein, husband of Eva Braun's sister, Gretl, who was stripped of his rank for committing treason and shot outside the Berlin bunker two days before Hitler's suicide.

Rumors started to circulate about a double for Hitler. He was supposed to be a total look-alike, and he was trained to "be" Hitler and was supposedly going to die a martyr’s death on the battlefield so that Hitler could be glorified without dying. - New York Times 19 April 1945.

The erratic rumors about Hitler's doubles were soon to be accepted by many as facts. According to one report: "The doubles were given voice and movement instruction, and they mastered Hitler's soft conversational voice and distinctive walk. Their faces and dental work were altered, and even their spines were broken in the same place where Hitler had been injured in the First World War. German efficiency left nothing to chance. But the one thing that none of these doppelgangers could ever hope to duplicate, was Hitler's hypnotic, charismatic public speaking style. His ability to sway a crowd had never been matched or equaled. The doubles would be good for public appearances, parties, or maybe meetings or briefings where Hitler was not expected to have that much interaction with his underlings."

The doubles would also be good for dying in place of Hitler, should the occasion arise. When Newsweek magazine published an article named Adolf Hitler's Double, in its March 13, 1939 issue, the editors were only repeating an opinion that was already widely acknowledged by the Allies. According to a recent Russian story, "Goebbels had engaged six doubles to impersonate Hitler for purposes of security and public appearances. After the capitulation of the Third Reich, Hitler had to die for the sake of vindication. There could be no doubt of his death."

Despite the intelligence reports, many Western historians continued to maintain that Adolf Hitler committed suicide in his Berlin underground bunker on April 30, 1945. Ironically, it was not the evidence provided by Russia that convinced them, but the testimony of the obsessively devoted Nazis who were also present in the Chancellery bunker when Hitler allegedly killed himself. Here is where their futile pretence became a matter of imprudence: For they were primarily the very same historians who insisted that the body shown in the annoying Russian photos was a doppelganger killed by those Nazis in the Berlin bunker who wanted to thwart Allied investigators. We were therefore expected to believe that after committing the outright murder of a double for the purpose of obstructing justice, our Nazi bunker guests were nonetheless quite frank and honest in their eye-witness accounts of what really became of Adolf Hitler.

Hence, one witness reported seeing a gunshot wound in Hitler's mouth, while others claimed it was near the corner of his eye (some even hinted that Hitler's butler strangled him and forced a cyanide capsule into his mouth). Pick a card, any card. One witness described finding the body of Hitler perched limp next to a dead Eva Braun on an elongated, upholstered sofa. But another found Hitler's corpse sitting alone near a corner, on a chair by itself. Mix and match. Hitler's one-day marriage to Eva Braun was another sentimental enticement, orchestrated to win our naive confidence. For only a worm could marry a lovely woman, just to poison her a few hours later, and then escape with a doppelganger's charred corpse left in his place. The unhappy couple, together at last. The fact that a maid admitted seeing a Hitler look-alike confined to the butler's pantry area was not considered to be of great consequence. A question mark near the water pipes? And the murder of the doppelganger was just another war technicality. Who did it? No doubt it was one - or all - of our bunker guests. They would not stop even at murder to perpetrate their Fuhrer's cover-up. But by now, the world was totally convinced of their honest integrity and humble desire to satisfy our secret wish that Hitler should not have escaped justice.

Establishment historians assured us that Adolf Hitler committed suicide in his Berlin bunker, shortly after exchanging marriage vows with Eva Braun. No bullet was ever found. But that does not matter. The blood stains on the sofa were reportedly of the wrong blood-type. But such details need not concern us. Hitler's entire body apparently vanished into thin air. But at least we found his teeth, in the garden.

Dental assistants apparently identified them from X-rays made public in 1968. And what was the actual point of murdering the doppelganger on the floor? What was that cover-up about if Hitler had already left a legally written will; a historical document, stating that his body was to be "immediately destroyed" by fire? We never thought of that. But since we must believe in something, our Chancellery bunker guests were ingenious enough to embellish us with such an entwined mass of information and confused additions that we could now produce our own personal interpretations of history; our own special views of faith. Indeed, an entire library of books may be filled with eye-witness accounts and so-called proofs of Hitler's suicide. Most of the new printed works were merely rehashed Berlin bunker testimonies, smoothed out to make a bit more sense, and hopefully convince us by their sheer size of whatever we seriously hope is true. But as one American military officer commented: "Upon reviewing the actual facts, not a single insurance company would ever pay out a cent to similar claims based on such scant, non-conclusive evidence." With certainty, the world was lied to about Hitler's death.

What sort of cover-up was the actual purpose behind the murder of Hitler's double? The most prevalent opinion is that the true motive was for Hitler to escape: According to the Washington Post, the US Office of Censorship intercepted a letter in July 1945 written from someone in Washington. Addressed to a Chicago newspaper, the letter claimed that Hitler was living in a German-owned hacienda 450 miles from Buenos Aires. The US government gave this report enough credibility to act on it, sending a classified telegram to the American embassy in Argentina requesting help in following up the inquiry.

In his 1995 book "The Greatest Illusion: The Death (?) of Adolf Hitler," Australian historian Fred C. McKenzie summarizes how Stalin was adamant in his conviction that Adolf Hitler still lived. In August of 1945, Stalin personally accused the British of "concealing the real, living Adolf Hitler in their sector of Berlin." A similar inquiry currently being published by Oberbaum Verlag in Germany is "Hitler's Double" by Walter Laufenberg, an award winning German author who has written and published several novels.

The noted British surgeon Hugh Thomas is chief spokesman for the growing opinion that not only Adolf Hitler had a doppelganger, but also Rudolf Hess and Heinrich Himmler. Perhaps all of the top Reich leaders kept look-alikes as part of a master contingency plan to escape unnoticed should the need arise. Dr. Thomas' doppelganger theory was finally investigated by Scotland Yard and the final report now remains hidden from the public. A hundred-year ban has been imposed on key facts concerning the so-called deaths of certain Reich leaders.

Although inclined to doubt Thomas' doppelganger theory, L. Ingrams Jr. describes what he believes to have been a British plot to lure Rudolf Hess to England using Ian Fleming, the creator of James Bond, and the notorious occult Satanist Aleister Crowley: In Hugh Thomas' book, The Murder of Rudolf Hess (1979) Thomas recalls his medical examination of Rudolf Hess in 1973, while Hess was in Spandau Prison. He believed that there was a difference between Hess' medical records from World War I and the torso of the man imprisoned at Spandau. 'The torso cannot lie' wrote Thomas, convinced that the Hess in Spandau was not the real Rudolf Hess.

"Ian Fleming knew that Hitler, Himmler and Hess were all fascinated by the occult, particularly Astrology, but also by Occultist rituals. Secret Agents such as Frau Nagenast , an Astrologer who Hess consulted and paid, were employed to produce charts that pointed to the 10th of May being a propitious moment for Hess to fly to Britain. Fleming carefully made sure that the Astrological forecasts that Hess received from his usual Astrologers contained very similar information. This was accomplished using intrigue, bribery and forgery."

Fleming, who was part of the (ALSOS) mission to locate the Nazi nuclear site, hoped to arrange a face-to-face meeting between Rudolf Hess and Aleister Crowley in Britain. But Fleming's proposal was rejected by his superiors of higher rank in the British Intelligence Department.

According to a 1997 report by Sean David Morton, a female Nazi Intelligence Officer named Magda Zeitfeld offered her services to the United States Government. She worked in Berchtesgaaden, and was apparently one of Germany's top intelligence agents. She had been sending the Allies information since the spring of 1944, acting as a double agent, because the SS she worked for had murdered her father and brother, under very mysterious circumstances. Her father had the biggest plastic surgery clinic in Berlin. He was a pioneer in the field, and well financed by the Nazis, due to their obsession with physical perfection, and was doing a landmark business. He pioneered and specialized in implanted facial prosthetics, using highly advanced silicates to build up weak jaws and noses to fit the German fashion of chiseled strength.

Three men, exceptionally high level Nazi officials, were brought to her father's clinic under a veil of extreme security and secrecy in the fall of 1943. Her father and brother were required to drastically alter the appearance of each of the men. Two weeks after the "Men" left her family's clinic, and sufficient time had passed to be sure there was no need to go back for follow up treatment, the hospital was raided and the entire staff, including both Magda's father and brother, were brutally murdered, and the clinic was burned to the ground, files and all. Magda knew that it was the Nazi's who had done this, in fact it was a division within the SS for whom she worked. According to the report, two of the men were Martin Borman and Adolf Hitler. Just as Himmler aimed to do, Adolf Hitler would escape from Berlin disguised as a priest.

That Hitler did undergo some sort of cosmetic surgery was independently confirmed in a well-known 1942 Time magazine article about the Nazi leader. His plastic surgery was also referred to by United Press Central European manager Frederick C. Oechsner, and in the Office of Strategic Services' Hitler Source Book.


The story broke when some journalists began to notice a strange alteration in Adolf Hitler's physical appearance, especially his nose. The SS immediately released an official press dispatch stating that Hitler had his fat nose streamlined by a plastic surgeon. That did not, however, explain why the originally thin, straight nose of Corporal Hitler gave way to the large, exaggerated nostrils of the Fuhrer.
Other minor details of identification no doubt had to be handled with care when dealing with a double. Exact body height was very important: Eva Braun's statement regarding Hitler's Munich-based double, that he "wears built-up shoes to overcome a height difference," possibly explains the 5 cm height discrepancy of the body autopsied. Duplicating eye color accurately also presented a perceptible doppelganger obstacle: In 1887 the first contact lenses were manufactured from glass and fit to cover the eyes. By 1939 contact lenses were made from plastic. The wearing of dyed or tinted contact lenses to change the apparent eye color did not become common until the late 20th century. But colored contact lenses could have been easily exploited as early as the First World War. Changing eye color was part of the infamous research conducted by Joseph Mengele, the Nazi doctor of Auschwitz. Mengele had dye injected into the eyes of several subjects.

Surprisingly, the tell-tale fingerprint issue was not such a serious problem in the early days of Nazism. Although various anthropologists and novelists had toyed with the idea of fingerprints as a form of identification in the 1800s, it was not until 1924 that an act of congress established the Identification Division of the FBI. But by then, Hitler already led the Nazi party. And later of course, the Reich maintained full control over all fingerprints kept in Germany's files. Hitler's burnt corpse had no surface skin to yield fingerprints.


In the end, only Hitler's false teeth, found with the Chancellery garden corpse fragments, provided some evidence to satisfy the strict terms imposed by most modern insurance companies. And that was still highly questionable, because a patient's bridgework could easily be reproduced by an experienced dentist and deliberately placed almost anywhere.

The key suspects of a possible cover-up in the Berlin bunker were Heinz Linge, Hitler's valet, Otto Gunsche, Hitler's Adjutant, Hans Baur, his personal pilot and Johann Rattenhuber, the Chief of Bodyguards. They were all vigorously trained to guard Hitler's personal secrets, even under the threat of torture and death. And they would not hesitate to kill a doppelganger to complete their Chancellery cover-up. However there was still one entity they could not easily deceive or trick: the polygraph or lie-detector test. An instrument capable of continuously recording blood pressure, respiration, and pulse rate was devised by John Larson in 1921, followed by the polygraph (1926) of Leonarde Keeler, and the psychogalvanometer (1936) of Walter Summers, which measured electrical changes on the skin. Because instruments were able to record bodily changes resulting from the telling of a lie, it is likely that certain testimonies, as witnessed by those in the bunker, were absolutely true. Perhaps for this reason, no one actually saw Adolf Hitler shoot himself. They could only be called upon to describe what they did to dispose of the dead body. Whose corpse they actually burned in the garden was a matter of recognition, especially if Hitler's double was an exact look-alike. In this way, even a lie-detector test could be beaten. Certainly, some of the bunker guests presumably could not establish the difference between Hitler and his doppelganger.

The World was Lied to about Hitler's Death

Cinema today sucks!

For me, it was a long process to wean myself off going to current movies, but I’m glad I did. I used to go see virtually everything, and definitely read every review. But there were just too many times of the movies that were receiving great reviews that were either bloody terrible or just bloody banal [there’s a special category here for the “quirky, spirited, touching independent film of the week”]. What’s more, even the bad movies I convinced myself might be “fun,” such as The Scorpion King or The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, weren’t even fun. I knew I had kicked the habit when I resisted sitting through Van Helsing despite internal voices screaming to the contrary: “It’ll be so terrible it’ll be fun! It’ll serve as eye-candy if nothing else! It’ll still be fun to watch Dracula, et al! It has Kate Beckinsale slumming as never before thought possible!” …and on and on. But I resisted, and a later video rental proved me absolutely right.

Here are some of the many reasons you should severely limit your intake of current movies and watch more older [and selected newer] films on video:

The Movies Suck
You’ve had the experience: Million Dollar Baby is getting great reviews. People are telling you it’s brilliant. It wins the Oscar. You go see it, and what you get is another pedestrian, precious, pandering drama that may be well-made and well-acted… but there’s still no reason to see it. It doesn’t show you or move you in any way a ton of movies haven’t a hundred times in the past. To me, this happened too many times [the final blow in my case was Affliction], and I just gave up. But you were misguided to go, because…

Film critics are under pressure to recommend a certain amount of movies
They can’t just hate movie after movie, so the ones that “aren’t THAT bad” get pumped up as the best movie in years. Most critics can no longer be trusted… or have to be read very critically. But their job is not an enviable one, because…
Movies are made to appeal to the greatest amount of 14-year-olds possible
Which, fine, 14-year-olds deserve movies… but you know, so do adults. So do people who have graduated from High School. So do people who may once have read a book. Even the Million Dollar Baby’s of the world have to appeal to a huge amount of Americans, and a huge amount of Americans are just flat-out dumb. Which is why…

Movies Pander So Badly
They desperately try not to alienate any segment of their audience [most notably religious parties, women, and minorities], which leads to a flattening of the variety of stories that can be told and characters that can be seen. Now all blacks MUST fire off sassy, irreverent comments to their white co-stars, all women MUST be spunky, empowered self-starters… And this kills off movies such as the recent Stepford Wives remake, because you SIMPLY CANNOT have women who do not take control of their lives and win out in the end.

This is not to say that there aren’t women like that, or that women SHOULDN’T be empowered, but the fact is that not all women ARE, and I personally think movies would be better if they more closely mirrored reality, not pushed an agenda and then SAID it mirrors reality. And another, related reason not to see current movies is that…

The Movies Themselves Are Advertisements
It always cracks me up when people get outraged by product placement in a movie, because what do you think the rest of the movie is? If it’s not selling a particular product by name, it’s still selling the consumerist lifestyle that can only be lived by buying the products. I call it Lifestyle Placement. Ever notice how everyone in the movies always has the latest gadgets, and is routinely praised or portrayed as cool and hip for having them? Ever notice how you never see people in movies who don’t watch television, don’t see movies, or don’t own a cell phone? Or if you do, they are portrayed as a crazy Marxist wingnut? Ever notice how in movies computers and the Internet never just don’t work, the way in real life computers and the Internet often just don’t work? Could it be that companies want their products to appear this way in order to add to their sales? And could it be that they rely on the audience’s perception that these movies represent real life in order to reinforce their desire for these products?
And let’s not forget to mention that…

The Moviegoing Experience is a Horror
Okay, so you arrive an hour early, having had to pay and extra $3 to buy your tickets in advance in case it’s sold out, but still having to get there that early to get a decent seat. You pay approximately 3X the value for your snacks and drink. Then you sit in your seat while assaulted by at LEAST two forms of advertising [the slide ads and the “movie tunes” playing in the theater]. This is before the ads begin to play, and then the trailers begin to play, occupying an average of 15 minutes. After that the movie starts, which you are unable to enjoy because increasingly the American public has not achieved the cognitive ability to conceptualize that there are OTHER PEOPLE on the planet, some of whom may not want to hear their fascinatingly insightful comment about the lead female’s breasts, or admire their new cell phone [and the illumination it provides] in wonder at how very busy, important, and well-connected they are. When they aren’t kicking the back of your seat.

And we’re going to movies… why?

Corruption in Heaven

Recently uncovered papers from the Kingdom of Heaven have revealed grave incompetency in the creation and execution of Existence.

Matthew Moses came across these papers while compiling information on the history and future of Creation for his book, Anti-Christ: A Satirical End of Days. What he discovered was staggering.

It seems that God had crafted only a single draft for Creation, failing to revise uncovered errors or to seek out the professional opinions of others before setting out on what was history's greatest project. Claims that "professional had not yet been created so how could their opinions be sought" have been rejected by the administration's critics.

"This administration knowingly began a flawed policy, refusing to correct deficiencies in construction or to adapt policy to growing concerns as to the continual survival of said project," said renowned Heavenly adversary, Satan.

Satan continued, "God is nothing more than a despot unwilling to listen to the will of the people. Continually he has followed a path that has led to grave destruction, suffering, and repeated warnings of collapse. Has he not read the various Armageddon scenarios? Something has to be done. Impeachment is growing as a fine option."

God could not be reached for comment, but his spokesman, Pope Benedict XVI had this to say: "If you don't like Heavenly policy, then you can go to Hell."


The problems cited in the revealed documents concerning Creation are numerous. First and foremost was the creation of the Void, known by the common term as Space. Rumors of corrupt suppliers not delivering enough materials to build a single, coherent universe have been blamed.

Construction itself has likewise proven shoddy. Unstable stars going supernova, planets either uninhabitable or unstable, highly destructive meteorites, and black holes have all been shown of examples.

Life itself has been shown to have been conceived incomplete. Various failed models exist upon the Earth surrounding God's final selection, Man. None hold the grace or perfection of Heaven's previous efforts. In fact, Life's workmanship is crude and fragile.

Many have claimed that God did not even finish the project, taking off the final day rather than completing his duties as Almighty Father.

The difficulty of communication between Heaven and Earth has led to many mistakes in continuing policy. Human sacrifice was one error blamed on a miscommunication. "God meant sacrifice oneself spiritually, not one's neighbor physically," the Pope has stated.

With communication difficult, God's unwillingness to step up and lead, and no coherent agenda, various factions emerged in the leadership of Earth. These factions led to cultures which developed not only differing policy initiatives but languages and views. Quite a bit of infighting has resulted.

It was rumored that God decided to simply scrap the entire project to either start again or simply abandon it altogether. Of course, due to various reforms in Heaven leading to the establishment of a legislature (due to the Treaty of the Firmament signed after the rebellion and civil war between God and Satan), action proved half-hearted and difficult (neither God nor Congress agreeing on a set decision) resulting in the controversial step of wiping out all Life on Earth save for selected mortal representatives who were meant to carry out a policy to be decided on later. Squabbles between Congress and God have prevented any sort of policy to as yet be ratified.

God was then accused of overstepping his boundaries as Executive by going straight to humanity and dictating Earthly policy without the consent of Congress. This led to Congress likewise reaching out to elements considered heretical to counter growing executive power leading to counterviews on religious belief and doctrine. All of this infighting led to eventual paralysis of the Heavenly administration as Congress and God began to launch Holy Wars upon one another.

Eventually, a reconciliation was sought between God and Congress. Talks began and led, finally, to some progress on setting future policy. Jesus, Heaven's ambassador to Earth, descended to give these policies to humanity. It was quickly rejected out of hand by most of Earth's inhabitants.

Humanity protested against what they saw as an administration gone soft. The policy given to man by Jesus was useless legislation. Without coherent rules setting language, government structure, articles to solve disagreements between the various states, or even sound economic strategy, man decided to veto Heaven's newly passed laws. This led quickly to a heavy tilt in God's policy.

In the seventh century AD, Muhammad was granted a new set of voted upon rules by a now hawkish administration unwilling to allow man's growing independence. Stronger ties of allegiance were demanded from humanity in the way of prayer. Likewise was there finally a set law code. Unlike Jesus' declaration, which disallowed war, Muhammad's demanded death and conquest of all who rejected Heaven's rule. Thus began a millennia long civil war between the various factions of Earth.

The Age of Enlightenment proved the most damaging for Heaven as parts of Earth seceded from Heaven declaring their loyalty to the newly created policy of science. Many other states have quickly followed suit threatening Heaven's control of a project that is rapidly threatening the stability of all of Existence.

The discovery of these papers can only further rattle the loyalty of those few who still hold faith in an administration which is increasingly being revealed as corrupt, incompetent, and outdated. One can only wonder at the future of this project called Existence.

A fun little fantasy article I made to advertise my novel

"It was bound to happen sooner or later," an anonymous cherub in Heaven's administration was quoted as saying in relation to the current public relations debacle facing Paradise.

The controversy surrounds what Heaven has dubbed, "an illegal eviction of an apparition."

Matthew Ford, the mortal being charged with the offense, says, "Things have gotten completely out of hand."

Upset with a ghost who has been haunting his house for years, Matthew finally decided to kick the wraith out of the property. "It wasn't paying rent or utilities," Matthew stated.

A spokesman for Jesus gave an official statement on Heaven's view of the situation: "According to the laws of Existence, only God or a recognized official of said Supreme Being may remove an entity from a property through the process of exorcism."

Matthew Ford claimed the process was taking too long. "The local church wouldn't even hear me on the case. They kept saying they had better things to do."

The case itself is shaping up to threaten major changes in law structure of Existence. Matthew Ford's attorney is challenging the case on the grounds of intimidation, improper oversight, and discrimination.

"Since God's stroke in 33 AD, which rendered him invalid and incapable of continuing in his office as Lord of Heaven, Jesus has been in power and under his watch Heaven has simply not enforced any of the rules," Ford's attorney stated. "He has outsourced many important Heavenly positions as well as hasn't had a cohesive general policy in 2000 years. What we have here is a bloated bureaucracy of clerics, priests, and reverends who are all taking our tithings and contributions and then not fulfilling their spiritual duties. When was the last time we received a miracle? What about a sitdown with either Jesus or God? This is corruption on a grand scale.

"The only reason Jesus is after my client is to make an example of him. Society is leaving him behind. The world is no longer a kingdom but a series of republics with no want of a King of Kings. We use medicine to heal, science to grow, and agriculture to feed ourselves. The Christ simply isn't part of the current order. It is only now that he is trying to enforce an archaic set of laws which should have been voided long ago."

But this case has been far from civil. A nasty set of acts has befallen both sides as the case heats up. Jesus has supposedly inflicted plagues upon Matthew in order to force him to submit to his will. In retaliation, Matthew has effectively dubbed himself the Anti-Christ and is attempting to dismantle Christian authority through grass roots activism.

A book on the case has found a publisher and should be on shelves this year. Titled "Anti-Christ: A Satirical End of Days", many critics are already claiming it may be biggest book of 2007. One can only wonder.

Spider-Man 3 (Or the last nail in the coffin)

Like everyone, I was really impressed with Spider-Man 2. Everything just worked really well, it had thrills and hints of depth and a lot of iconic images and it was all clicking. Doubts began to emerge as it seemed that this movie would feature 843 villains [a DUMB IDEA that contributed to the ruin of the Batman movies], and continued when each of the 19 trailers for this movie seemed to be about an entirely different film. How would they bring all that together into a cohesive whole? Well, they don’t really.

I’m gonna go light on the synopsis since I’m sure you know it all already. Peter and MJ are chillin’ in a web when a meteorite crashes next to them and this goo [well-animated goo, by the way] goes home with Peter, only to lie dormant in his apartment until it is thematically appropriate. Then he gets attacked by his friend Harry, son of the Green Goblin from film one, who gets konked on the head and his thematic portion also lies dormant until the plot necessitates that it doesn’t. And there’s this escaped dude from prison with a sick daughter who falls into the kind of open-air particle physics facility that are just lying around everywhere in New York. Those things really are a public menace. He gets disintegrated and reintegrated as a big wad of sand.

But as usual there are personal problems. And the main characters seem not to have had a single conversation about them in the past three years—those are some communication issues. MJ has made it to Broadway and sucks ass and gets terrible reviews. She reveals herself as a needy narcissist as she bitches Peter out for any attempt to make her feel better, and he reveals that he doesn’t need any cosmic gloop to be a self-centered prick as he can only relate to her problems via what a superstar he is. Then there are flirtations and rival photographers and homespun advice from Aunt Bea or whoever and scenes with the Russian landlord and blahbitty blah.

So eventually the gloop takes Peter over and unleashes his dork side. He becomes a little nastier, but there are two problems: 1) it’s NICE to see him not be such a goody-two-shoes and show a little edge for once, and 2) since he was a stuck-up cock before, his transition isn’t much. A lot of other reviews have derided that his cocky strut down the street echoes Tony’s in Saturday Night Fever, but I think it’s clear that this is quite a conscious decision on Raimi’s part. It is obviously meant to be self-mocking. However, it goes a bit far when Peter is virtually boogying down the street doing hip thrusts. What should have had an edge of seriousness becomes too funny and goes on too long.

And that kind of becomes the main problem. At a certain point I leaned over to my friend and said “This is getting really long,” and he said “I was just thinking the same thing.” Actually, I had started thinking it fifteen minutes prior, but was just trying to be nice. So, if I had main criticism and quote that they could pull out and put in a movie ad it would be: IT’S SO LONG AND COMPLICATED YOU CEASE TO CARE.

There are many an action sequence, but you know what? They’re all kind of the same. Spider-Man swings around. Whether it’s an everyday out-of-control crane [the pointlessness of which was kind of a come-down] or the Goblin [now the New Goblin… like the New Monkees] or the Sandman… they're pretty much all the same. There are a LOT of storylines this time around and I just got tired of them all. Plus, in retrospect, the Sandman didn't have anything to do with anything. You could neatly excise him from the movie and still have a complete film with themes intact—in fact, it would be much more focused.

The special effects are good. They range from cheesy to quite good, and you can see that they poured more money into certain sequences. Those who were surprised to learn, in Spider-Man 2, that there is an elevated subway on the East Side that inexplicably dead-ends above the East River will be curious to discover that there is a massive cavern beneath Manhattan, seemingly 10 or more stories in height, where the subways move through on elevated tracks. The fights are also incredibly brutal, with someone or other getting their head slammed into a girder every few seconds or so. Everyone was fine. Other reviews have said that it seems that the characters haven't matured since the last film, particularly Maguire, but I didn't find that to be the case. However it did seem at times that their established characters were diverted to do out-of-character things in order to shoehorn them around the story and themes. What else? I don't know, I could nit-pick over other stuff [we did NOT need to see the Russians that much], but basically they just needed to scale it back and focus it. It's as if he thought it was the last one and he felt he needed to cram as much as he could in. The climax was a big 'so what?'

Yeah, it's too bad. I saw the second one three times and enjoyed and admired it every time. I couldn't possibly sit through this one again. What a bummer.