Hollywood doesn't get comic books

Now I will be honest; the majority of movies based on comic books are sub-par, do not follow the source material really well, and are too dumbed down for audiences due to a need to be overly generalized. Movie studios are too scared to invest time, effort, and heart into projects which could truly play out as our own modern mythology. People look at comic books and sneer as if this a juvenile form of entertainment without any literary value or merit. These tales are far more than simple entertainment. They are tales of action, adventure, and when written with respect for both the character and the content, capable of deep, emotionally rich stories. They can be progressive, such as X-Men, which symbolized racism and its harmful effects on society, and Daredevil, a comic which presented the ability of the blind to function in and contribute to society. They can be introspective, such as the brooding Batman or the alcoholic Tony Stark of Iron Man. They can be about the nobility of the human spirit, such as Superman and 300. And they can be about the darker side of man (Sin City, V for Vengeance).

Comic books are morality plays, insight into modern culture, views into human nature, and larger than life epics that help to make it all palatable because it attempts to prove to us the nobility of man. Like the tales of Greek gods and heroes, Celtic myth such as Beowulf, and the olden tales of Arthur and his knights, comics are our modern day legends.

The problem with the current studio system is that it does not recognize these tales for the rich characters and tales they have to tell. These are merely stories with explosions, excessive violence, over the top villains, and quirky jokes. The studios have glossed over the material and understood only the outlying plot but not the theme to what makes comic books such an endurable part of American, as well as world, entertainment.

One fine example is what became of the Spider-Man franchise. Whereas the first two movies did well in capturing the heart of the Spider-Man series, Peter Parker struggling to do what was right in a world that didn't always appreciate his efforts as he attempts to discover his place in it, the third movie simply crapped on story for more violence and mindless plot that served on to cram as many characters as possible into an already overburdened cast. Juvenile humor was used to deal with serious plot threads, such as how power can ultimately corrupt an individual (Parker with the symbiote which would eventually become Venom). Rather than show the inner turmoil of a character whose actions never seem capable of ever totally solving all of his problems (the more he helps the city the more he drives MJ away, whereas the more attention he spends on MJ and his own life the more the city suffers), they make it seem as if Peter's life is simple as can be. Having a full-time job in a precarious position as a photographer, attending college, trying to carry on a relationship, and being the sole champion of a city shouldn't come easily to anyone. Spider-Man 2 did well in showing how difficult it is to carry on so many responsibilities and the sacrifices that generally accompany having to make such choices of public service: when do the good of the many outweigh the good of the few. Spider-Man 3 completely crapped all over that dilemma by removing it and making being a superhero seem so easy. To put oneself consistently in harm's way, to sacrifice oneself for so many: to make it seem so easy is to completely undermine the heroic nature of being a superhero. Spider-Man 3 could have been about how the stress of doing so much finally led Peter into a gray zone where he began to take shortcuts (becoming violent, taking advantage of his powers to improve his own life versus those of others, etc.). Instead it became another mindless popcorn flick as Sony freaked over its declining profits and wanted to ensure its economic security.

Comic books are about the possibilities that lie within all of us. There is a reason the early heroes costumes were under there clothes, why these heroes were separate identities from who they really were. A hero can be anyone, anywhere, at any time. That possibility lies within all of us. It is not who we are but we we do, our actions, that define us as heroes. The real us is not important. It is the ideal, the hero that we seek to become, that is the truly super part about being a superhero. Likewise, the infamy that all of us are capable of, how readily we may slip into the abyss beneath that thin line we walk everyday are ready fodder for comic book tales.

Comic books are rich material. They are more than a child's early steps into novels. They are visual tales that captivate and illuminate the world around us. They are living, breathing art. They are us magnified. If only studios could realize this and put that heart into their translations to the big screen one could just imagine the amazing tale they could tell.

Soon you too can be a superhero!

Being the tech nerd that I am, I was fascinated by these advances I discovered via Sci-Fi Tech. Being a superhero might be closer to the realm of possibility than we ever thought:


Faster than a speeding bullet. More powerful than a locomotive. Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound. Look! Up in the sky! It's a bird. It's a plane. It's… you?

Admit it — you've fantasized about soaring through the sky like Superman or swinging from building to building like Spidey. Unfortunately, superheroes exist in only comic books, cartoons and movies. And then it usually takes being doused with radioactive waste or belted by gamma rays to hear a gun cock from a mile away or crush cars like soda cans.

But with scientists apparently drawing inspiration from the comics they read when they were kids, the line between science fiction and science fact has become blurred. Superheroics suddenly seem like a viable career option. Follow the link to see to see how you, too, with today's technologies, can spin webs and get superhuman strength.


Spider-Man
With his third major motion picture debuting today, Peter Parker's alter ego needs no introduction. He faces baddies like the Green Goblin, Doc Ock and Venom on a daily basis, so it's a good thing that bug bite gave Petey a talent for sticking to walls and the ability to shoot webs from his wrists, among other things.


Synthetic Gecko: Be A True Wall-Crawler
You won't need Spider-Man to get you out of a sticky situation. Thanks to the Synthetic Gecko technology developed by BAE Systems, the Spidey-suit has become more than a child's Halloween costume. Researchers discovered that billions of tiny hair-like structures along the reptiles' feet allow geckos to get their grip. Mimicking the real-life counterpart, Synthetic Gecko acts as a reusable super-strong adhesive that leaves no messy residue or stickiness behind. Just think: It's only a matter of time before you, too, can be a wall crawler.


BioSteel: Spin Your Own Web
Our beloved arachnid can do more than scale walls so you'll need the ability to sling webs, too, if you want to be a legit Spider-Person. Nexia Biotechnologies is eager to assist your pursuit of power. After injecting spider genes into a goat, researchers were able to extract a silk-like material, dubbed BioSteel, from the goat's milk. Because of its compatibility with the human body, BioSteel appears to have some remarkable real-life applications (artificial limbs, tendons and ligaments). Stronger than steel, and with a breaking strength of 300,000 pounds per square inch, wannabe webheads will undoubtedly dream about using the technology for a swing through New York City.
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Fantastic Four's Invisible Woman and Human Torch
Like the rest of the Fantastic Four, Susan and Johnny Storm gained their special powers after their experimental rocket was bombarded by cosmic rays. Thanks to the spacecraft's sucky shielding, Sue gained the ability to turn invisible and project force fields. Her blazing bro Johnny picked up the power to surround himself in flames, fly and fling fireballs.


Invisibility Cloak: Now You See Me, Now You Don't
If you want to be like see-through Susie, then clearly (pardon the pun) you, too, have to be able to make yourself invisible. Duke University scientists have created a cloak using artificial composite materials called metamaterials, which could enable you to do just that. "The cloak would act like you've opened up a hole in space," said Duke's David R. Smith. "All light or other electromagnetic waves are swept around the area, guided by the metamaterial to emerge on the other side as if they had passed through an empty volume of space." If you can understand the scientific mumbo jumbo, more (super) power to you. Researchers are still uncertain what degree of invisibility can be achieved, but I sure do wish they could make the Ghost Rider movie disappear.


Heat-Ray Gun: Drop It Like It's Hot
Some like it hot, including the U.S. military, which has revealed a heat-ray gun for diffusing unruly crowds and forcing enemy surrender without the use of lethal tactics. This seemingly harmless weapon releases an invisible beam of high energy that can penetrate clothing and heat the skin (to a depth of less than 0.5 mm) to a harmless, but extremely uncomfortable degree (enemies can expect to run for cover).
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Superman
Rocketed to Earth as an infant from the doomed planet Krypton (stop me if you've heard this one before), Kal-El's extraterrestrial physiology lets him absorb immense energy from his adopted homeworld's yellow sun, bestowing him with a host of mad superhuman skills. Two favorites: x-ray vision and the power to fly.


Xaver 800: I See London, I See France, I See Lois' Underpants
You, too, will be able to see right through those skyscrapers with Camero's Xaver 800 device. Because its ultra-wideband signal can travel through plaster, brick and reinforced concrete, acts of heroism are in your future. Your super-vision will allow you to locate people through walls up to 26 feet thick in just seconds, with hopes that in the future, a thickness of 300 feet won't be difficult. Unlike its conceptual counterparts, Xaver 800 is already on the market to police, fire and rescue teams and costs merely $100,000 — pocket change for getting Supes' super power.


Rocket Belt: Ready For Takeoff
You'll be soaring the blue skies with the Rocket Belt, from Tecnologia Aeroespacial Mexicana. Donning this device won't put you on any best-dressed lists, but so what if it's not as stylish as Clark's red cape. TAM offers hands-on training (with housing and food, probably tastier than you'd get on any airline), 24/7 expert support and 10 flights in your own custom-made Rocket Belt. As long as you don't tip the scales at 300 pounds, you're ready for takeoff — and to become the marvel of your own Metropolis.

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Black Canary
Founding Justice League member (and Green Arrow's main squeeze) Dinah Lance was born with her superhuman ability: the "canary cry." With this ultrasonic scream, the stunning siren can shatter objects and incapacitate her opponents. Your girl may have the gift of gab, but be glad you're not getting an earful from Ms. Lance.


LRAD: Sonic Assault
We're wondering if Black Canary inspired this next tool of the superhero trade: the long-range acoustic device, LRAD, created by American Technology Corporation. LRAD, touted as a nonlethal weapon, has the capacity to cause permanent hearing damage within a range of 300 feet by producing a high-energy acoustic beam (technically known as a loud noise), enabling you to neutralize any neighborhood nuisance. U.S. forces in Iraq and the States have used LRAD for crowd control and protecting ports. And thwarting pesky pirates is now simple for cruise ships. Worried about your own drums? Though targets will feel like they are standing next to a jet engine, those producing the sonic scream are shielded from harm.
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Captain America
Scrawnier than Sanjaya and thusly rejected by the military, patriotic Steve Rogers agreed to become the recipient of the Super-Soldier Serum. With his body, agility, strength, speed, endurance, and reaction time elevated to peak human levels, Rogers became San Francisco Giant Barry Bonds, er, um, Captain America, the living symbol of freedom.


Powered Exoskeleton: Unleash Your Inner Avenger
It's possible to be like Cap without taking performance enhancers (legal or otherwise). The U.S. Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency (DARPA) is planning to build an army of super soldiers, with powered exoskeletons designed to improve the freedom fighters' speed, strength and endurance. This exoskeleton would enable troops to carry hundreds of pounds as easy as a backpack and leap extraordinary heights and distances (watch out, Man of Steel). It may not be a serum, but it looks like the army just might someday get the juice they need to become super.
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Iron Man
In between boozing and womanizing, wealthy weapons contractor Anthony Stark set aside enough time to design a suit of armor that would keep his bum ticker ticking. Later, he pimped out the suit to give himself superhuman strength, virtual invulnerability, flight capabilities and an array of weapons.


Future Warrior Concept: Dressed to Kill
Unless you're like Tony — a genius inventor with Benjamins to burn — don't hold your breath for the Future Warrior Concept. You won't be able to get your hands on the Natick Soldier Research Center's tricked-out uniform until 2025, which aims to outfit soldiers in a fully integrated, lightweight and lethal combat system.

The Iron Man-esque outfit is equipped with sensors that monitor the wearer's body temperature, heart rate and blood pressure as well as hydration and stress levels, which can be transmitted to medics and field commanders who might be miles away. An emissive display inside the headgear will let soldiers view GPS-generated maps and real-time video provided by forward-positioned troops, aircraft or satellites. The helmet also houses wide- and local-area network connections for sharing mission data (or photos of Jessica Alba) among squad mates. Additional bells and whistles include a built-in heating and cooling system and sensors for 360° situational awareness.
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Wolverine
X-Man Wolverine was born with a mutant gene that lets him heal at an accelerated rate. Gunshot wound or burn injury? No biggie. The ol' Canucklehead needs mere minutes to recover. The atrocity that was X3? That might require an extended stay in the ICU.


ARP Trainer: Get Well Soon
Trips to the ER could be far less frequent for you, too, with a little help from an Accelerated Recovery Performance (ARP) trainer. This device helps prevent injury by relaxing healthy muscles. For injured muscles, electrical currents penetrate deep into tissue (no worries, bub, it won't hurt a bit) to strengthen and elongate them, speeding up recovery time. As a superhero, you can't afford to be on the DL for long. You could join the pack of 50 MLB, 100 NBA and 300 NFL players who already use ARP to prepare for game day.

Spider-Man, the subtle Superman clone

They say history repeats itself and I see the maxim being repeated rather blatantly to the point of plagiarism in the Spider-Man movies. Now what do I mean? Afterall, aren't the Spider-Man movies some of the most original, most exciting movies out there? I say no. The series has gradually turned into asubtle clone of the Superman movies. What do I mean? Let's do some mild comparisons.

The first Spider-Man movie is about a kid who feels alienated and in love with someone he can't have. His father, who isn't his real father, offers sage advice and eventually dies after imparting his most lasting statement leavingan indelible image in the mind of his "son". Spider-Man? Or Superman? Superman was an awkward teen when he was Clark in the original 1978 movie. Everyone laughs at him. He is excluded. He loves Lana but can't have her though she appears to care about him. His adoptive father is constantly talking to him about how special he is, about some future purpose, about using his powers for the right reason and not self gain. "You are here for a reason. But I'll tell you one thing. It's not to score touchdowns." The original movie of both series likewise show our heroes weaving their way through their big cities making an impact on crime. We even get the love subplot of the girl loving the hero's one identity but not the other and even speaking to the one's identity about loving the other.

Spider-Man 2 continues this thread by ripping off the most important part of the plot. In Spider-Man 2, like Superman 2, the hero sacrifices his powers in order to find love and a normal life only to discover their needed and to forgo their personal wants for the greater good.

Spider-Man 3 really proves Raimi is ripping off the franchise by the fact that now we have our hero turned into an evil version of himself a la some foreign object. It was artifical Kryptonite in Superman III, a symbiote from space in Spider-Man 3. We get the hero to gradually turn into a selfish, self-centered individual who uses his powers for self-satisfaction and even to gain a new girl (both blondes, Lorelai Ambrosia in Superman III and Gwen Stacey in Spider-Man 3). Their costumes darken. Eventually the dual identities fight one another after discovering how the darkness in consuming them with that moment of "one great scream" before the separation. And of course the heroes kill their alternate versions. Sandman seems a mild rip-off of Richard Pryor's Gus Gorman in that he is a reluctant villain who feels guilty for his role in the film. Even more compelling is the fact that this movie, like Superman III, is getting mixed reviews.

Do you see the common thread running through this series? It's even got to the point that Maguire, like Reeve, swears there won't be a 4 though Reeve eventually conceded. The question is whether Maguire will do the same. If there is a 4, will it kill the series like Superman IV: The Quest for Peace did?

And yes, I know, I need to get a life. Women out there...save me from myself!